Isabelle's Upstairs Coffee Shop

In July of 2017 after a year and more of fits and starts, I finally self published, through Amazon, a piece of fiction. I call it a piece of fiction but I also recognize that it is a thinly veiled memoir and true story. I had no worries, which I find a bit perplexing now.    Want to know more?

The Aug 20 issue of The New Yorker featured as its fiction story A Refugee Crisis by Callan Wink. It is a story written in the first person by a supposed fictional writer. But, at least for this reader, it seemed autobiographical of Wink. Be that as it may, the fictional writer makes a statement about writing fiction that, as a first time self published author, really resonated with me.

He said, "Increasingly, it seems to me that fiction is the most shameless genre. It makes no attempt to avert its lying face. In fact, it does the opposite - putting its dishonesty on display and tying to make a virtue out of it. Every morning at the keyboard, I lie, cheat, and steal, and then, after I close the computer, I go about my day disingenuously presenting myself to the friends and lovers whose lives I've plundered for my own ends."

When I wrote and published 2017, "Isabelle's Upstairs Coffee Shop" a friend advised me to make it non-fiction. I didn't want to. Did I want to lie? Did I want to hide? Did I think no one would read it if it wasn't fiction? I really don't know, but I do know that in spite of having just read The Confidence Code by Katty Kay & Claire Shipman, a book that should have empowered me to just shake it off, look out the windshield instead of the rear view mirror, and refuse to ruminate, I did a fair amount of second guessing and experiencing writers remorse as soon as I pushed "publish" on the publishing platform I was using. Two years later, I still do. I still waffle between feeling good for checking "write a book someday" from my list of life's goals and regret for having done so.

I think a lot about ethics. I've never thought much about it from the writers perspective. Until now.

Getting My Hygge On

                           

It’s hygge time! We have had our first snow, Thanksgiving is this week, cold is forecasted, and I am ready to hunker down and get cozy. Cozy is the closest word we have in English for the Danish concept of hygge, as I understand it. Interesting that we take a Danish noun and its best translation is an English adjective. To further bastardize the translation I will convert it to a verb. (Isn't that just the American way?)

I’ve hygged my whole life. I just didn’t know it was called that. It has felt so validating to have it … well validated. So what am I talking about?

I’ve always liked close cozy places. In college I lived in a converted linen closet on the 7th floor of Ford Hall at KSU. I loved it. I remember finding room for a Christmas tree and nesting in under my lofted bed to procrastinate studying. I remember fixing my supper in my tiny room on Sunday nights in my popcorn popper where I had figured out how to even make spaghetti and marinara sauce. Having been gifted a small electric water pot for my high school graduation, every day I would make tea or dissolve a cube of beef bullion in hot water for a warm flavorful beverage.

When I decided I better study, I would get all nested down with some pillows and my books and then think Oh, I should make a cup of tea. Tea in hand, I would be ready to open the book and then think I should light some incense! Up to light some incense. Back to the study pillows. Need a blanket, I would think. Eventually nestled in under the blanket, warm tea in my belly, senses calmed with calming aromas I would fall asleep.

This week I am heading north to colder weather to spend the holiday with family. We will enjoy some cooking and some coffee and a lot of chaos. When I get home I will still hygge but it will be more solitayr, like by drinking espresso, burning a frazier fir scented candle, wearing my hand knitted socks while I knit, write, or read and listening to my quiet pandora holiday station. My hygge will include gazing out a window at a sunset and walking on my own nature trail where I might see a deer, fox, or owl. I will be happy as a clam doing this day after day.

Hygge should be practiced broadly in my opinion. It is a practice in self-care and makes space for contemplation and nurturing friendships. We all can use a dose of that. Thank you, Danes.

The Grass is Always Greener

Somewhere buried deep in my soul or my DNA is a fear that I am missing something. I have always appreciated what I have and where I am but at the same time questioned what might have been or could still be.  Recognizing that trait as inherent to who I am as a human and more specifically who I am as a member of a family of people who  harbor an urge to travel and/or up-root and start over, I have decided to try to objectively self analyze and deny my inherited urge to want something different before I do something stupid and act on it.

I love travel. But ironically travel can both aid and abet my new desire to just "be satisfied" with the status quo. Through travel I am able to experience and thus mourn, what is unavailable to me when I am not traveling such as beautiful mountains, diverse culture, or quaint coffee shops (or any kind of shop!) to name a few. But at the same time travel can bring me to a more rational and appreciative perspective of where I am and what I have. And let there be no mistake, I have much about the status quo to celebrate

 I write this blog post at the end of a short week of travel. Having just spent some time with 2 unhappy women one of whom is 84 and the other 62, I am determined to take control of my attitude and purposely define who I am and will be as I grow older. Both unhappy women have been blessed with health, considerable wealth, and comfortable abodes (even beautiful).  And yet they both constantly look at the glass as half empty and know the grass has got to be greener on the other side of the fence to use a couple of cliches. And so, they either whine and complain (the 84 year old) or chase  the elusive utopian life they are sure they have missed but can still have (the 62 year old).
 
What a lesson learned for me! Is it too late? I am guilty of just what I have observed in those two women encountered in my travels this week. But no more. I return home with new appreciation for my rural existence that lacks culture, restaurants, diversity and entertainment. I go forward with a focus on what I am blessed with rather than what I am deprived of. I will appreciate the solitude, long sunsets, massive green space, and even the political and religious extremists  I live amongst. I call them my neighbors, and I know in spite of our different ideaologies they will always have my back. I return knowing that I'm missing something. But also that I have something.

 I will continue to travel and seek new experiences. I will continue to fall in love with new places and fantasize about other lifestyles. But  beginning now I celebrate my life as it is. I have learned who I am through travel and more importantly who I don't want to be. Through travel I have found myself. For me it is true what James Baldwin  said: "I met a lot of people in Europe.  I even encountered myself."

There is a picture on my facebook page's timeline of 3 girls in random positions infectiously laughing. It might be my favorite of all time. I love that picture because I believe it captured the essence of those sisters and their relationship and that is what a picture is supposed to do.

I am put off by sappy statements on photographers websites saying they love being surrounded by the love of the family and they pledge to make your photo shoot a memorable experience and have fun with you yada yada yada. Give me a break! No one hires me to take their family pictures because they want to spend the morning with me building a memory. And my customers don't love me when they arrive or when they leave because they have spent time with me. More times than not I sense tension and strain because at least someone in the crowd is stressed out about not being someplace else they would rather be. I totally get that.

So my job is to try to transcend that and make the shoot painless and relaxed and hopefully get a picture that catches the essence of the family (well ... unless the essence of the family is strain and strife, then I'm really challenged!). I am not always able to get that perfect picture but for this family I nailed it. Once in a while that happens. And that is when my job is most fun. Like in this family. Charlies Angels was their idea. I just released the shutter. What a fun job. And to their credit ... there was no tension for me to transcend. WAIT! Maybe they DID love being with me! One can dream ...

Digital Photography

After four years of owning Studio C I am realizing how much I have learned. The digital learning curve has been the steep one!

To say I was drug kicking and screaming into digital photography would be an exaggeration, but not by much. I loved 35 mm photography. I loved using available light, reflecting light, using back light for hair accent and generally being creative. But I knew that while I can remain a purist at heart, digital photography was a major but necessary shift. And so, I leaped. For me, it was leap and learn.

My daughter was married a few weeks ago and we were fortunate to find Rosa Digital and Juan Carlos to agree to shoot the wedding and then hand over the RAW images. It was both a professional and personal budget decision because I knew that though I would save some bucks,  it was going to mean that yours truly was going to be challenged to deal with the images. I have always shot in large jpeg. RAW images and managing and editing the files was intimidating.

This past week the images arrived and the learning curve went vertical. But oh the fun  and gratification when you can to turn this image:

... into this image:

Amazing isn't it?

I am so grateful to Rosa Digital for the professional courtesy they extended me in not only accepting the job but in sharing in the ownership of the images. I have learned much. Not the least of which is that photography is only half done with a camera. The rest is done with the software on your computer that allows you to correct all the mistakes the camera makes or can't control  to make the final product more accurate for color and more beautiful.

Yes there is some manipulation of the image that isn't "true". Wind blown hair has been tamed. Over-exposed decking has been "re-stained". But the integrity of the subjects has not been compromised. That is what counts in the end. That, and having a beautiful picture to hang on your wall with pride.

So I take off my hat to Rosa Digital! Juan saw the spot to shoot this image. He saw the back ground and the back light. He directed  the composition. But Studio C found the cropping balance, removed the distractions, and made the color real. Win. Win.

Farmer's Markets

Today the local bakers and produce farmers will be setting up at Heritage Park for our weekly 2.5 hour community market. Kudos to Beth Pearson, local volunteer, who created the market for Rolfe and spearheaded the effort to turn a vacant  main street lot into a beautiful park.

 In July I heard there was a man going around Rolfe telling people to trim their bushes and mow their grass. It was Greater Rolfe Days, for heavens sake! I had to wonder if he really thought the dilapidated buildings, condemned (or should be) housing, and street pot holes would really go un-noticed if our weeds were pulled. Where do you begin in an economically depressed community losing its population, schools, churches and businesses?

At various times at our market one could have bought melons, peaches, vegetables, fudge, bread (always), bird houses, soaps, hair ornaments, books, and many more wares that locals bring to share and sell. A few weeks ago I set up my grill and sold stone baked bread as it came off the grill. I sold out and had a blast doing it. It was a bit windy as you can tell from my picture but that was a happy day for me!

Beth decided you begin with 1 lot. And so we have Heritage Park. The weekly market in Rolfe is something we can brag about. My brother calls farmer's markets canine festivals and avoids them. I have to think he would be much more open to the idea if he stayed out of places like Des Moines and Laramie WY where he lives and instead went to smaller markets like we have. I must confess the week after he described markets that way, the hem of my  granddaughter's skirt ended up in the teeth of a small un-welcome dog at our market but that is a rare thing in our town. That dog was visiting from out west and they have gone home so its safe again!

Many of our local patrons enjoy our market for the socializing. There are benches, tables, and sun protection at Hertiage Park where neighbors can sit and re-connect. That is what community is all about.

The weather is warm and humid as I write this but we are staring fall in the face and the market will soon be put to rest of another season. Meantime, I for one, plan to enjoy it and celebrate the uniqueness of our market and our vendors! I know the patrons of our community will too.

Celebrating Summer

It all has to be packed in so few months in northwest Iowa! Weddings, family reunions, backyard barbecues, bicycle riding, and of course the small town celebrations. Never have we had a greater Rolfe Greater Days than this the 150th birthday celebration of the town of Rolfe. It has been buzzing this summer as residents and town leaders prepare for the culmination of 2 years of planning and working. Weeds have been pulled, houses painted, lawns mowed, bushes trimmed! Plans have been in the works for the bacon fest, wine fest, parade, rock climbing wall, lunches, dinners, dances, cemetery walk and home tour! And hats off to the town for a great weekend that was only made better by moderate temperatures, cool breezes, and over-cast skies making for great pictures and tolerable weather for a 5K walk/run. Here are a few of my favorite shots of some  parade viewers from my vantage point of my camera shooting out the sun roof of a car.

Festive and fun as Rolfe Greater Days  was, though, it didn't have the diversity of the Storm Lake July 4th celebration with the awesome food vendors displaying ethnic foods we mid-westerners and rural E-owans cannot even pronounce.  How blessed Storm Lake is to have the multiculturalism of the immigrant population to color their community and their celebrations!